An expert strategy for helping your toddler climb, balance, and more

It’s always important to keep your toddler safe when they’re attempting a new motor skill, but research supports taking a more hands-off approach when you can. Try talking them through it instead. 

Your words may guide them through motor skills, and you may be surprised by what your toddler can already do on their own when given the chance. 

Specific verbal feedback can help your toddler tune into their body as they tackle a new physical challenge. For example, climbing a ladder at the park requires your toddler to break down a complex task into parts—how to place each foot and when to move each hand. With your verbal support and lots of practice, their brain and their body will learn the movement patterns so they can eventually do it automatically. 

How to talk your toddler through a physical challenge

At first, say nothing. If your toddler isn’t in danger, take a moment to observe. If they are working hard to tackle a new skill—like climbing into their carseat—stay quiet so they can focus. Make a mental note of what is working for them in case they need reminders next time.

Tell them what they did last time that worked. You could say something like, “Remember when you got in your car seat before? You put your knee here first,” or “Last time you climbed the ladder, you moved very slowly.”

Describe what they’re doing at the moment. Judgment-free statements help your toddler focus on their body as they move. “I see you holding the rail,” or “You are taking big steps.”

Offer “what if” suggestions. Your toddler might look to or reach for you when they get stuck. If reminders and in-the-moment descriptions aren’t enough, suggest the next thing they could try to succeed on their own: “What if you put your foot on this next rung?” as you point to it.

Describe what they did, whether or not they were successful. “You slowed down when you got to the curb and stepped down safely,” or “You came down the ladder really fast and your foot slipped.” 

Offer another chance to practice. Encourage them to try again, offering some ideas and observations. “Hmmmm, your foot slipped on the ladder that time. Do you want to try again and move more slowly?” or “You bumped your head on the table. Do you want to try again and look up before you stand?”

Learn more about the research

Adolph, K. E., Cole, W. G., Komati, M., Garciaguirre, J. S., Badaly, D., Lingeman, J. M., … & Sotsky, R. B. (2012). How do you learn to walk? Thousands of steps and dozens of falls per day. Psychological science, 23(11), 1387-1394.

Dinkel, D., & Snyder, K. (2020).  Exploring gender differences in infant motor development related to parent’s promotion of play. Infant Behavior and Development, 59, 101440.

Duncan, M., Cunningham, A., & Eyre, E. (2019). A combined movement and story-telling intervention enhances motor competence and language ability in pre-schoolers to a greater extent than movement or story-telling alone. European Physical Education Review, 25(1), 221-235.