Do’s and don’ts of early play dates

Play dates are an opportunity for your toddler to get comfortable around new people and practice early social skills with your help ❤️ They can also be a way for you to enjoy a little adult company. 

If you aren’t having play dates quite yet, don’t worry—they aren’t essential for your child’s development. Social interactions with other young children can happen at day care and family events, or even during chance encounters at the park.

If toddler play dates are something you’re considering, these do’s and don’ts can help them go more smoothly.

DO plan a simple activity

If you’re hosting, a little planning can go a long way toward minimizing conflict and maximizing opportunities to connect. Here are few ideas:

1. Put out some chunky crayons and tape a big piece of paper to the floor or a wall with painter’s tape. Make it more inviting by drawing outlines of shapes with a marker ahead of time. Leave plenty of room for both children to scribble.
2. Gather some balls of different sizes and a few large containers, like laundry baskets or plastic tubs. Invite your toddler and their playmate to kick and throw the balls and toss them into the bins. 
3. Fill a low, under-bed storage bin with soapy water. Add tools for scooping and pouring, like the Grooved Pitcher & Glass or things that float and sink, like the Opposites Balls. Splashing and experimenting with water is always a toddler favorite 🙂

DON’T invite lots of friends at once

If possible, limit the guest list to just one other child. Your toddler will be more likely to interact with their playmate if they aren’t overwhelmed. Even a child who attends a busy day care or play group can always use practice interacting one on one. 

DO take a snack break to reset

Whether you’re hosting a play date, joining friends at the playground, or going to someone else’s house, a well-timed snack can be a game changer. Pausing to eat something—especially if your toddler is having a tough time—allows them to do something familiar and take a break.

DON’T force them to interact 

Some toddlers shy away from other people or are more interested in a new space and new toys than they are in new friends. Trying to get your child to interact may make them feel even more cautious. Follow their lead—it may take a few play dates before they’re ready to venture beyond you. 

DO model the behavior you want to see

Your child learns the norms and rules of socializing from you. Demonstrate what you eventually hope to see in their social interactions.

For example, if their playmate falls down and cries, you can express concern: “Soraya fell down! I bet that hurt.” Name the emotions the other child—and your toddler—may be experiencing: “It looks like Soraya is feeling sad right now. You seem worried about her. Let’s go check on her.”

Then, help if there’s a chance to do so: “I think I have some bandages in my bag. Let’s get one.”

Learn more about the research

Brownell, C. A., & Early Social Development Research Lab. (2016). Prosocial behavior in infancy: The role of socialization. Child Development Perspectives, 10(4), 222-227

Williamson, R. A., Donohue, M. R., & Tully, E. C. (2013). Learning how to help others: Two-year-olds’ social learning of a prosocial act. Journal of Experimental Child Psychology, 114(4), 543-550

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